My collective impressions of the new controls.

Labor Day weekend is rapidly approaching. What the hell happened to the summer? As Revolutionary War naval hero John Paul Jones said from the bridge of the Bonhomme Richard, “I have not yet begun to barbecue!”

A bunch of us are going to the Jimmy Buffett concert on Saturday night at the Tweeter Center in Mansfield, MA. I think this is the 10th year I’ve seen him there, I’ve been every year since 1993 (I missed the 2001 tour, oh well). It’s very predictable, I can tell you right now exactly what the scene is going to be like in the parking lot, inside at the actual concert, and after the show. It’s what you would expect, drunken buffoonery and bad behavior run amok. But it’s fun every single time I go.

Sunday morning (yes, the morning after the Buffett show) I am scheduled to take part in the 3rd annual Aquinnah Challenge over on Martha’s Vineyard with Jen, Alex, and ‘The Rookie’ Tom Grassle. We’re supposed to take the 8am ferry over to Vineyard Haven (ugh). The “AC” is a hilly-yet-scenic 36-mile bike ride through the back roads of the island. We start in Vineyard Haven, head out to Aquinnah (Gay Head), take a swim, and then turn around and ride back to the ferry terminal in Vineyard Haven. This is all weather permitting, of course. Don’t get me wrong; I want to do this ride. Just not in the pouring rain.

Why do people always come up to me and ask for directions? I must have a trusting face. Maybe it's because I'm so pretty. :)

Around 7pm last evening we had this strong thunder and lightning storm come through Boston, it was intense. From out the back windows of my modest urban dwelling I watched the radio antenna atop the Prudential Building get zapped twice by long streaks of lightning. It was cool. I wish I had a digital camera for those types of moments, it would have made a great picture.

After the thunder and lightning stopped it was still very cloudy so when the sun set all the clouds took on this reddish hue. The ambient light that filtered through the expansive cloud cover gave everything this eerie, red, like-you-are-on-Mars kind of look. I saw other people in my neighborhood doing what I was doing, looking out their windows, checking out the weird, quiet, red cityscape.

I just read that Jeff "Poop-on" Suppan is starting tonight's game for the Sox against Seattle.

There's another check in the 'L' column for all you believers out there.

I don't care if the Sox crushed the A's last night 14-5.

They've used up all of their credits with me as far as I'm concerned.

Just like my man Flavor Flav from Public Enemy says: "Don't believe the hype".

Did I mention that I really don't like tennis?? I don't get it at all. How is this game fun to watch? Bor-ing. I'd rather watch golf. In the snow. With no shoes on. In January. In Canada. While listening to Menudo.

Here's me at a tennis match: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

It happens year in and year out. I don’t know why I let it bother me. It has become a rite of August here in the Northeast. No matter how promising they may look throughout the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer, when that smell of Labor Day wafts into the Red Sox dugout the wheels immediately fall off the bus in unison and all that promise goes out the window and we the fans are left watching one hapless game after another. It is more than just bad, it is beyond disgusting, beyond deplorable. There really is no excuse or justification as to why we put up with this every stinking year. You watch, the fans will be wanting the once glorified (even by me) head of Red Sox GM Theo Epstein on a platter. How can you not make the playoffs with the talent they once showed??!??!?!?

With 36 games to go the Red Sox are 7 ½ games behind the Evil Empire in the AL East. Kiss that division crown goodbye, Boston fans. It’s out of reach. Oakland has managed to grab a 2 game lead over Boston in the Wild card race. 2 games can be overcome, but with the way the Sox are playing these days, this is unlikely.

Thank God it’s almost football and hockey season, the 162-game Red Sox rollercoaster is making me ill.

For the last three days, the majority of my time at work has been spent hunting down that stupid 'Blaster' internet worm. I think I've run that Microsoft patch that fixes the security hole at least a hundred million times by now. Fun stuff. But I am getting to spend a lot of quality time with the users on the network I support. They're very appreciative (for some reason).

The only thing making me feel better about the whole mess is the thought of how happy I am that I am NOT an IT guy in New York, Detroit, Cleveland, or Toronto. What a week they are having! Massive internet worm followed up by a massive power outage! We're talking TONS of overtime $$ for some people.

I saw on the news that the western part of Connecticut, traditionally inhabited by Yankee fans, had no power while the eastern part of Connecticut, traditionally inhabited by Red Sox fans, was not affected by the grid shutdown. The message doesn't get any clearer. The Almighty punishes the members of his flock who like the Yankees:

"He who worships in the house of the Pin Stripes shall lose the light that shines through the darkness." The Book of Pedro 4:15

Yes, the rumors are true. More than a week ago, when several us were moving the Mother Charlie plant in Woods Hole, a branch 8 or 9 feet in length snapped off. Now don't worry, Mama Charlie still has 2 more arms that are almost as long as the one that she discarded. Peter and Edna (Mother Charlie's care-givers) said that it was in fact good for the overall health of the plant. Now there is plenty of room for the growth of several of Mother Charlie's smaller branches. Plus, Edna happens to be a cloning genius, she will turn this one broken arm into a dozen or so new baby Charlies.

Uh-oh...he knows.

All hands to Battle Stations!

Shields up!

Dive! Dive! (diving alarm noises in background - bong, bong)

Flood the main ballast tanks! Rig out the diving planes! Ten degrees down-angle on the planes!

Set depth at 100 meters!

Evasive maneuvers!

Lori and I watched the movie 'Daredevil' last night, you know the one with Ben I-Can't-Act-fleck and Jennifer 'Type-Cast' Garner? Yeah, don't bother if you haven't seen it. What a stinker. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I gave up watching the Red Sox beat the Angels and the Patriots stomp the Giants to watch that piece of crap.

All kinds of people are coming out of the woodwork and heading to the Cape on this 2003 Falmouth Road Race weekend. I hear Bridget from DC, Caroline from NYC, Sarah from Brookline, Sourav (works with Tom) from NY, and even Dee from NH will be among the cast of hundreds that includes perennial favorites: Lib, Jen, Tom, Alex, Lori, myself, Rob, and Kim! What's Hayward been up to these days? I bet Barry will even pay us a visit. I wonder what Dr. Brian and his ever-growing family are doing this weekend? Too bad the weather is forecasted to be of the el-sucko variety for the majority of the time we're all down there. Tom's very trusting parents won't be visiting their Cape home anytime soon, so I don't have to see the smoke or hear the whistle to safely say that The Wicked Pissah Party Train is headed Tom's way on Saturday night! Woo-woo, woo-woo, All aboard! No stops, Express train! Nexxxxxxtttt Stop, Woods Hole! (Yeah, right, like we're such zany party animals. Tom's parents aren't stupid, they know we're too semi-responsible (i.e. old) these days to actually do any damage. How pathetic.)

My friend Rob 'No, really, I'm an Engineer' Little just quit his old job to move into a greener pasture. Today's his last day at his old gig in Burlington, MA. His old workmates are taking him 'out to lunch' today. I'm sure that means 10 beers by the end of 'lunchtime' at 4pm. He is taking a week off before he starts his new engineering job at some other Boston-area firm. Good for him. 9 1/2 years is a long time to work in one place.

Rob says he's going to run the Road Race this Sunday, but since none of us other lazy folks are doing it this year (maybe Jen and I will end up jumping into the race at 'Pie In the Sky', who knows. What's a measly 7 mile run in 99% humidity when you're hungover? Been there, done that, it's not fun), combined with the fact that a good portion of us don't have to work on Monday, odds are that we all end up getting run over by the Party Train on Saturday night. I will consider us to be extremely lucky if we get to see any of the runners when they go by at 9:30 Sunday morning.