:: This Goes Without Saying...Boston, MA ::

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[::.. cast of characters ..::]

AL(al) n.
Narrator of highest note.

LORI(lohr-ee) n.
The girlfriend. Slightly bratty. Arachnophobe.

CHARLIE(chahr-lee) n.
A dieffenbachia plant spawn from the great Mother Charlie in Woods Hole, MA.

[::.. archive ..::]

:: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 ::

It's already the end of June and I haven't been to the beach once this year. I remember when the 4th of July marked just about the halfway point of summer vacation. Now it marks the beginning. How did that happen?

:: posted by Al on 6/30/2004 09:52:00 AM ::

:: Friday, June 25, 2004 ::

I know I haven't posted anything in a while.

And knowing is half the battle.

:: posted by Al on 6/25/2004 08:53:00 AM ::

:: Wednesday, June 16, 2004 ::

Battle of the Hockey Gladiators
Target Center in Minneapolis on Aug. 21, 2004

Thirty-two current and former professional hockey players are scheduled to participate in the double-elimination fighting tournament. Players will skate to the center of the ice in full gear (no helmets), drop the gloves and duke it out in 90-second rounds. The winner receives $100,000 and the title of "Toughest Man on Ice."

The NHL Players Association will not allow current NHL players to participate in this event.

Former Boston Bruins right winger Lyndon "LB" Byers is one of the 32 contestants, so is former San Jose Shark defenseman Link "the Missing Link" Gaetz.

It will be offered as a Pay Per View event on most cable networks.

Fighter Bios

Judges Scoring System
- amount of punches thrown and landed
- quality of punches
- showmanship
- crowd response
- general control of the fight
- whos knees buckle first

:: posted by Al on 6/16/2004 11:24:00 AM ::

:: Tuesday, June 15, 2004 ::

I saw this somewhere, I thought I'd give it a try:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in my Comment section.

My first attempt at adhering to these rules did not work out too well; the book nearest to me was an "Adobe Acrobat 5.0" quick installation guide that had only 17 pages. Here's what happened on attempt #2:

pcAnywhere 10.5 User's Guide: If you are a network administrator or other IT professional and need assistance with creating, building, and deploying customized installation packages for network installations, consult the Symantec pcAnywhere Administrator's Guide.

I'm at work, what did you expect?

:: posted by Al on 6/15/2004 10:45:00 AM ::

:: Saturday, June 12, 2004 ::

Nice to see you stopped and took some photos while I lay on the floor writhing in agony.


:: posted by Charlie the Plant on 6/12/2004 10:34:00 AM ::

:: Friday, June 11, 2004 ::

So this is what I saw when I walked in the front door of my apartment around 5:30pm EST:

Here's a shot of our skylight in the ceiling that I took from Charlie's newfound perspective on the floor:

Now I very well couldn't just leave him there sprawled out and in the way, right? I know I've got some string around here somewhere...

Yes, that is indeed a 'sheepshank' I tied to take up the slack in the line. (Nice to see I can still pull out my Eagle Scout bag of tricks when duty calls.)

Looks like we'll have to address "The Charlie Adolescence Situation" ahead of schedule.

:: posted by Al on 6/11/2004 06:06:00 PM ::

:: Thursday, June 10, 2004 ::

So my Dad was paroled from the hospital yesterday, which is good for a number of reasons, first being the fact that it means his condition has improved drastically from the time they helicoptered him to Boston 10 days ago.

It was getting tough smuggling him a Dunkin Donuts Coffee Coolata (made with skim milk, of course) every day when I went to see him. I thought the Feds were on to me but were just waiting for me to graduate to smuggling donuts so they’d have a rock-solid case and not let me get sprung on a technicality. I never got a real answer from him as to whether or not frozen coffee drinks were on his list of banned foods or not. Maybe it healed him. I’ve heard scattered rumors about the healing powers of Dunkin Donuts. I’ve just never seen it in person. I think the Pope needs to look into this.

They still don’t know why one of his kidneys blew a gasket and started bleeding, but they did repair the artery and do lots of tests as well as give him lots of IVs and then hook him up to monitors. (I found I could make the display numbers go up or down based on the topic of conversation. When we talked family and Cape Cod the numbers went up, when we talked about how long he would be there and how he felt the numbers went down. It was great, it was like feedback from my own focus group.) In my head I have run the gamut of possibilities for why his kidney would do this. My possibilities range from ebola virus, to that Brooks Robinson over-the-top takeout slide to break up the double-play back in ‘65, to even an old AK-47 gunshot wound from his secretive CIA days.

The doctors will do another CAT scan in a couple of weeks when more of the blood around his kidney has absorbed back into his body to get a better medical idea of why this occurred.

Anyway, he’s back on the Cape. My Mom gets the honor of chauffeuring him around town until they tell him he’s OK to drive.

When I talked to him yesterday he seemed very happy to be able to take a shower and sleep in his own bed. Ahhh…the simple things in life.

:: posted by Al on 6/10/2004 12:28:00 PM ::

:: Wednesday, June 09, 2004 ::

This just in...Red Sox shortstop Nomar Garciaparra will make his 2004 major league season debut tonight against the San Diego Padres.

I heard that when he played in the Cape Cod Summer League in the mid 1990s his nickname was "Glass".

Wherever did that name come from?

:: posted by Al on 6/09/2004 04:24:00 PM ::

TORONTO, ONT (AP)-- Ray Bourque and Paul Coffey are virtually assured of being selected to the Hockey Hall of Fame on Wednesday.

An 18-member Hockey Hall of Fame selection committee will announce this year's inductees on Wednesday, and Bourque and Coffey are expected to be honored in their first year of eligibility.

Glenn Anderson, Dino Ciccarelli and a handful of others passed over in recent years are also expected to be considered.

Bourque, who played 22 NHL seasons, holds career records for defensemen in goals (410), assists (1,169) and points (1,579). The eighth overall pick in the 1979 draft, he won the Calder Trophy as the league's top rookie.

Bourque won the Norris Trophy as the league's best defenseman five times. Only Bobby Orr (eight) and Doug Harvey (seven) won it more. He's second only to Gordie Howe (23) in All-Star Game appearances with 19.

"I'm a perfectionist," Bourque once said. "I want to do well all the time."

Traded from Boston to Colorado near the end of his career, Bourque won his only Stanley Cup in 2001 and retired a few weeks later.

:: posted by Al on 6/09/2004 09:19:00 AM ::

:: Tuesday, June 08, 2004 ::

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Ronald Reagan's face could one day adorn the $10 bill or half the dimes minted in the country, if fans of the late president get their way.

On Tuesday Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) confirmed that he is considering sponsoring legislation in the Senate to have Reagan's image replace that of Alexander Hamilton, the nation's first treasury secretary, on the $10 bill.

Meanwhile, an effort is underway in the House of Representatives, led by Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.), to put Reagan's face on the $20.

:: posted by Al on 6/08/2004 03:39:00 PM ::

:: Friday, June 04, 2004 ::

I should've gone to Art School. I think I would have used bacon instead. Mmm...bacon tastes good.

NEW YORK, NY (AP)-- Brooklyn-based artist Cosimo Cavallaro covers a bed with sliced ham at a gallery in New York Thursday, June 3, 2004. Cavallaro, 41, the son of immigrants from southern Italy, said the ham he was using is 'a pure form of America: all kinds of parts, boiled and pressed together.' Despite his Italian heritage and training in an Italian art school, Cavallaro said he had rejected Prosciutto because 'It would have been pompous.'

:: posted by Al on 6/04/2004 09:06:00 AM ::

:: Thursday, June 03, 2004 ::

Haiku is a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.

For example:

I work in I. T.
Have every single password
Read all your emails

Haiku is fun.

:: posted by Al on 6/03/2004 04:08:00 PM ::

:: Tuesday, June 01, 2004 ::

I had an interesting weekend. Boats, bikes, cars, and even helicopters were involved.

It began with a very successful fishing trip on Saturday. I lost track of the total fish count, but I know that I personally caught 5 of the 20 or so bluefish that were in the cooler when we pulled back into the harbor. Good thing I caught a bunch of those bad-boys, I was doing some major league trash talking out there on the water.

Saturday night my Dad got air-lifted by helicopter to Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston from a hospital on the Cape. It only takes 25 minutes by air! Somehow he managed to rupture a blood vessel in his kidney and was bleeding internally. This was causing him great pain. The kind of pain that the morphine they were giving him wasn’t touching. That sounds like fun. They did some procedure to stop the bleeding and now he’s undergoing all kinds of tests to figure out how and why this happened. I went up on Saturday night with my Mom and stopped by to visit him last night. He looks a little bored. He says he’s not in pain but still a bit uncomfortable. They’ll probably let him out on Wednesday. What do you think a Helicopter Med Flight costs these days? I guess we’ll see how good their health insurance is.

Sunday night we had a surprise birthday party for Lori at her sister’s house. Since her birthday isn’t for another month she was very much surprised. I won’t tell you how old she will be on her birthday.

I hope everyone did something nice for a Veteran yesterday.

:: posted by Al on 6/01/2004 11:04:00 AM ::

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