:: This Goes Without Saying...Boston, MA ::

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[::.. cast of characters ..::]

AL(al) n.
Narrator of highest note.

LORI(lohr-ee) n.
The girlfriend. Slightly bratty. Arachnophobe.

CHARLIE(chahr-lee) n.
A dieffenbachia plant spawn from the great Mother Charlie in Woods Hole, MA.

[::.. archive ..::]

:: Saturday, July 24, 2004 ::

Nothing convenient about it either.

I adapted the following helpful hints from the Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook. It may come in handy for any of you stuck in the metro Boston area next week. As for me, I'm outta here tonight. I'm not coming back until August.

You're vacationing in Boston, MA, when you hear a commotion outside your hotel. Thinking it's some kind of festival, you step outside ready to party. Uh-oh! This is no celebration--it's a riot spilling over from the Democratic National Convention. What should you do?

Remain indoors.
-Stay away from the windows. Listen for reports on the radio or television. If you believe the crisis is out of control or threatens your life, plan to leave the state quickly. Determine the best route to the airport or embassy, and leave the building through any safe exit.

Exit away from gunfire or mobs.
-Select a way out that is not easily observed. Exits could include windows, ductwork or the roof. (The roof? Of a hotel?)

Leave as a group.
-You are safer with company, especially if you have to dash across an open area such as the front of a building, a wide street or a plaza. Gunmen and anarchists will have multiple objects to focus on, not just one, and will not be as likely to make a move.

Do not run.
-Unless your life is in imminent danger, walk. A person walking is harder for the eye to detect--the human eye can quickly sight someone running. Running also can generate excitement--people may chase you(Especially if you are wearing a Yankees hat). If you must travel by car, be prepared for evasive maneuvers.
-Drive on back streets, not main roads. Do not stop for anything. Remember, the car can be a useful 3000-pound weapon that even a mob cannot stop. If you cannot drive forward, drive in reverse.
-If a Molotov cocktail (flammable liquid in a glass container with a lighted wick) hits your car, accelerate--it may burn out as you gain speed. If not, you'll be driving a hot rod.
-If you encounter roadblocks, be prepared to bargain your way to safety. You might have to give up everything you are carrying in order to get away. Offer cash first, personal belongings (watches, cameras, jewelry) second, (small children third).Abandon the car outside the embassy or airport.

:: posted by Al on 7/24/2004 03:13:00 PM ::

:: Wednesday, July 21, 2004 ::



ROGERSVILLE, Tennessee (AP) -- The party's over for four inmates accused of going on a beer run after the jail's doors were accidentally left unlocked.

The men were charged Monday with escape and bringing alcohol into a jail.

The breakout occurred Thursday night after cellblock doors at the Hawkins County Jail were left unlocked and a faulty control panel failed to alert jailers, Sheriff Warren Rimer said.

Two of the inmates walked out through a fire exit, leaving the door propped open with a Bible, and made a hole in the exercise yard fence. They walked to a market, bought some beer and returned to the jail to share it with other prisoners. When the booze ran out, the other two inmates made another beer run to a different store.

Authorities believe the inmates bought more than two cases of beer in all.

"I guess they thought if they came back they wouldn't be charged with escape," Rimer said, "but they were wrong."

The store visits did not raise alarm because the inmates were wearing street clothes borrowed from other prisoners. The crowded jail does not have enough orange jumpsuits to go around.

I wish the story said what brand of beer they purchased.

My guess would be Miller because as their ads used to say: "If you've got the time, we've got the beer".

I guess those inmates really took that to heart.

:: posted by Al on 7/21/2004 09:16:00 AM ::

:: Friday, July 16, 2004 ::

Sunset - Boston, 7/16/04

:: posted by Al on 7/16/2004 09:27:00 PM ::

:: Wednesday, July 14, 2004 ::

From SI.com's Pete McEntegart:

Did Mike Piazza pull a Crash Davis last night? Roger Clemens was already getting smacked around like a Home Run Derby meatballer when he shook off Piazza twice before an 0-2 pitch to Manny Ramirez, even stepping off the mound in apparent dismay. What are the odds that Piazza then put down the sign, leaned toward Manny and said, "Looks like ol' Roger wants to throw the slider. Speak well of me in the Hispanic community, Manny." It looked like Manny knew what was coming given the way he jacked it into the seats for a two-run shot.

:: posted by Al on 7/14/2004 04:07:00 PM ::

Frank Murphy just gives and gives to charities until it hurts.

TAMPA, FL - Another Tampa Bay Buccaneer has run into trouble with the law.

Frank Murphy is accused of attacking a nightclub employee and skipping out on a huge bar tab at what was supposed to be a charity fundraiser to benefit local children.

The promotional meet-and-greet with the wide receiver -- part of the Frank Murphy Celebrity Weekend -- got ugly at the 3am closing time Sunday morning when Mr. Murphy refused to pay the $1670.00 bill, witnesses reported.

Police were called when the wide receiver allegedly punched an employee, Michael Garvin, then kicked him after he was down on the ground.

Garvin was treated at the scene for bruises and a cut to his head.

Murphy was not arrested because the alleged misdemeanor was not witnessed by police.

:: posted by Al on 7/14/2004 10:21:00 AM ::

:: Sunday, July 11, 2004 ::

I was flipping through the channels earlier in the evening and I came across a hunting show on TNN (or Spike or whatever they're calling that TV network these days).

It's one of these deals where they have 2 guys in full-on head to toe camouflage sitting in a bush and whispering about tactics and conditions for a half-hour right up until the last 5 seconds of the show when one of the hunters blows away the unsuspecting animal from a distance of about 15 centimeters with both barrels of his brand-new shotgun. Then everyone starts hootin' and hollerin' and high-fivin' and the first-time hunters have to drink the blood of whatever animal they just killed. Makes for great TV, I know.

Well anyway, I was kind of tired when I was watching it and my mind started wandering.

Wouldn't it be great if right at the moment the guy is about to shoot the deer or turkey or moose or whatever, 10 over-enthusiastic guys jump up from the bushes next to him and open up on the hapless creature with M-16s and AK-47s and one guy starts throwing grenades and another is on his field radio calling in artillery and napalm strikes, "Delta Bravo Two Actual, Fire mission, Grid six-four-niner, four-zero-two. Direction six-one-zero-zero, we got Bambis dug in bunkers up here, fire for effect!".

I could see the dramatics getting way out of control on a hunting show like that. It would always end with something like: "Bravo Six, for the record, it's my call, dump everything you got left ON MY POSITION. I say again, I want all you're holding dropped INSIDE my perimeter, we got Bullwinkles in the wire!"

Now that would be some Must See TV.

:: posted by Al on 7/11/2004 11:09:00 PM ::

:: Saturday, July 10, 2004 ::

I can't get the song in those "Six Flags" commercials out of my head.

I hope it's not permanent.

:: posted by Al on 7/10/2004 11:08:00 AM ::

:: Wednesday, July 07, 2004 ::

We had a little party last weekend to celebrate the 4th of July.

:: posted by Al on 7/07/2004 09:01:00 AM ::

:: Saturday, July 03, 2004 ::

If I don't see you before tomorrow, have a Happy 4th of July weekend. I hope it's chock full of friends, family, sunshine, grilling, adult beverages, and celebratory pyrotechnic devices.

As for me, I'm leaving work in 30 minutes and driving due south so I can begin my weekend by catching a little Cape Cod Baseball League action between the Falmouth Commodores and the Bourne Braves.

Tomorrow, the beach!

:: posted by Al on 7/03/2004 03:26:00 PM ::

Somewhere in Lowell, Massachusetts there is a lottery ticket now worth an estimated $290 million (before taxes). That’s because it is the sole winning ticket that matched all six numbers in the Friday, July 2, 2004 Mega Millions drawing.

The winning numbers in Friday’s drawing were: 10-25-38-39-50 and the Mega Ball number was 12.

After Uncle Sam gets his hands on the winnings it turns into only $120 million or so.

My friends Rob & Kim live in Lowell. I mean, my REALLY good friends who I would do anything for, like donate organs if they needed them, live in Lowell.

I wondered how my dear, dear friends were doing this fine July morning. Perhaps I will give them a call and find out.

Rob, my closest friend in the whole wide world who I've known for what seems like a hundred years and would trust with my life, was at a Dunkin' Donuts and said he had bought a ticket but it was at home and he hadn't checked the numbers yet. He said he was going to give his beautiful wife back at their lovely home a call. I made him promise he'd throw a million my way if we they had the winner.

After 10 minutes or so had passed, he left a message on my phone, it was just one sentence: "No million for you. (click)"

I bet they'll get a lot of calls today.

The least he can do is buy me a beer when I see him down on the Cape tonight. After all, his bad luck cost me a million dollars.

:: posted by Al on 7/03/2004 09:30:00 AM ::

:: Friday, July 02, 2004 ::

How can Nomar not play in that game last night?! Reports are that he pulled himself out of the Red Sox lineup before the game. Now I am in no way a fan of Derek Jeter, but didn't that incredible inning-ending diving catch into the 10th row not perfectly illustrate the contrasts between these two teams? On one hand you've got guys like Nomar and reliever Scott Williamson who won't play unless they are at 100% and then on the other hand you've got Jeter who is willing to put his baseball career on the line to make a crucial play in a regular season game! The Yankees prove time and time again that they will do whatever it takes to win. That's why they do just that.

How can the Sox with the players they have and a $125 million payroll be 8 1/2 games out of the AL East on July 2nd???!!!

"Nobody has to be ashamed," Manny Ramirez said. "We played a great game."

"I don't think anybody lost here," said Pedro Martinez. "The winners were the fans because they got their money's worth."

"It's a very difficult loss, but at the same time, I've never been so proud of these people," Red Sox manager Terry Francona said.

Why isn't anyone pissed off????!!! The fans sure are!!!

:: posted by Al on 7/02/2004 10:41:00 AM ::

:: Thursday, July 01, 2004 ::

I totally stole this from a post on the www.sonsofsamhorn.com website.

Man, things are looking mighty bleak these days for the hometown Crimson Stockings.

Steps must be taken by Red Sox Management to improve the on-field product because frankly, last nights 4-2 loss to the Yankees looked WAY too much like a combination of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series and Game 7 of the 2003 AL Championship Series. Yikes.

Don't they teach you how to CATCH or even THROW the ball by the time you reach the Major League level anymore?? I mean come on, even the Cubs seem to know how to do those things right most of the time.

:: posted by Al on 7/01/2004 09:34:00 AM ::

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